Blast From the Past - Part One

So, I recently came across some random documents that I had written while in college. At that time, I don't even think that blogging had truly hit mainstream and if it had, I was probably too skeptical to get involved. Anywho, given my dry spell with posting new material, I thought I'd regurgitate some oldies, but goodies and mix them in from time to time. Commentary on thoughts at the time vs. current situation will be italicized. I hope you enjoy...

I wrote the following while attending Bradley University (2003-2005) and living in my own apartment sans roommates. I now have a roommate, which is good for the most part, although I do miss the good ole days from time to time.

Advantages of Living Alone/Disadvantages of Living Alone

(Advantages listed first, followed by corresponding disadvantage)

1A. You finally have an excuse for being totally selfish.
1D. Because you become totally selfish, the odds of finding a desirable roommate in the future dramatically decline. In extreme cases, this includes future spouses.

2A. Any questionable follicles adorning the bathroom floor are undoubtedly yours.
2D. While the origin of such follicles is known, it doesn't make cleaning them up any less gross.

3A. Dancing and jumping around on furniture is permitted at all times.
3D. Once fully grown, the idea of jumping on the bed may still seem fun, but the reality of an impending concussion -- not so much.

4A. Two words; Naked Time! Everyone does it so don't bother denying it.
4D. There's no time like naked time, until there's a knock at the door...then it's panic time.

5A. Total solitude is an attainable goal (unless your ass-hole neighbor likes to rock the bass at 1 a.m.)
5D. While solitude may seem great at first it is eventually a harsh reminder that there are billions of people in the world, none of whom desire to see, speak or interact with you in any way.

6A. Just like Vegas - what happens in the apartment stays in the apartment.
6D. It may sound sexy and seductive, but if there's nothing happenin' in the apartment, then the whole concept borders on pathetic.

7A. All mail is your mail.
7D. The harsh reality is that more often then not there will be more Pizza Hut coupons in the mail box than actual mail, and even they only come a couple of times a month.

8A. Sleeping until the mid-afternoon never results in verbal scolding from others.
8D. Sleeping until mid-afternoon...who has time for that? There are bills to pay, clothes to clean, dishes to wash, floors to mop, and those Ramen noodles don't exactly fix themselves now do they?!?

9A. There is no one to keep tabs on you or question your questionable behavior.
9D. Because there is no one watching out for you, you must chew food very well and avoid drunken showers. One wrong move and your ass is either choking to death while trying to perform the self-inflicted Heimlich over a chair, or you're lying naked in a pool of blood and vomit after taking a nasty spill in the bath tub while reenacting the NSYNC dance from the 'Bye, Bye, Bye' video. (Neither of these scenarios come from personal experience ; )