Things I know for sure

Every month in ‘O’ magazine in an attempt to be insightful and inspire millions of women and gay men across the country, Oprah lists something that she knows for sure. So maybe mine aren’t really inspiring, but I thought I’d give it a shot anyway. Here are seven things that I know for sure:

• Wanting to run a marathon is a lost cause if you never run. I used to really desire to train for a marathon and one day have strangers lining the streets to give me dixie cups of water. Then I realized that my ability to run mile after mile isn’t an indication of my inner strength. I also realized that I just really don’t like to run more than a block at a time.
• Even when you think you’ve met the most stupid person on earth, there’s always Flava Flav.
• I will never own a mini van. Unless SUV’s are suddenly banished from earth, I really just don’t see the need. I know that vans have come a long way since my mom’s blue Dodge Caravan, but they still make me uneasy.
• Sex and the City and Seinfeld reruns will never get old.
• God exists - I know this because when I look really closely at my eye - slightly pulling down the bottom lid towards the center of my face, there’s this tiny pinhole that I assume has something to do with air pressure in my eye. If I was not created, or if I (and every other human) was the result of a cosmic incident or evolution from apes, or sand or whatever, then how come we’re all not a bunch of weird blobs? Go ahead…find a mirror and check it out.
• Chicken never tastes as good reheated. Pasta, yes. Chicken, no.
• If a tiny Asian woman in Chinatown tells you to follow her through a maze of alleys and up two flights of stairs to a discreet apartment, do it. It’s a little scary at first, until you see walls of knock off designer purses at unbelievable prices.